With a bold new decade ahead of me, I've been thinking a lot about where I want my life to go, and more importantly, what would make me the happiest. It's something that's taken me so long to figure out, since - up until very recently - I wasn't fully living for myself, as myself. But little inklings of ideas have been trickling into focus since 2020, and I'm starting to better understand what I need in order to live a fulfilling life. And the crazy thing is, I'm almost halfway there!
So a little background info: in 2020, having served as an essential worker during the horror that was the COVID-19 pandemic, I was finally made aware of the existential horror that is late-stage American capitalism. For the first few months of the outbreak, each employee received a $2+ bonus to their hourly rate, which admittedly wasn't much - but it was something, and we sorely needed that extra cash, especially with how scary and unpredictable those times were. But then, well before there was even a vaccine available, our bourgeois corporate overlords decided to pull the plug on our hazard pay, for reasons I can only assume involved their stockholders, or their coveted billion-dollar bonuses. That was the day, dear readers, that I became a socialist, and later the filthy commie you see before you today. I'm so down with the cause that I wore red for the picture today!
And so, from that day forward I decided that I wanted to live my life in a way that would get me as close as possible to escaping from this predatory economic system which thrives off of the misery and exploitation of its people, and thus I was formally introduced to the mind-blowing world of trailer life and minimalism. Having already converted to paganism by then, the prospect of living a life close to the natural world and apart from the hustle-n'-bustle of modern society sounded super appealing to me. However, being the impressionable little nooblet that I was at trailer life, I made the unfortunate error of buying my first (and, to date, only) trailer from a dealership. It was used, and in the moment I thought I got it for a steal; I didn't find out until later that the cheap bastard running the place had charged me double what it was actually worth. If you somehow found your way onto this blog, Harry, I have only this to say: fuck you. You hear me, you lying capitalist pig?! FUCK! YOU!
What's more, having not fully thought through how I was gonna hook it up to the house or whether that would even be possible, I spent the next couple years deeply regretting that investment and how much money it was costing me. I thought to myself, what had I done? I'd put myself in debt for years over something I didn't want anymore! I tried selling it, but nobody was biting at the price I had it on offer for. Can't say I blame them. Didn't help either that I don't have the title, and the dealer still hasn't provided the license plate. Shitty situation, right? Seems damned hopeless. I had thought absolutely none of this through and bought this thing on impulse, following stupid dreams as opposed to facts and the cruel reality that would have to go into making this way of life possible. I had no choice but to pay this thing off, this parasite on my wallet and my life.
Except, once it's fully paid off and the title is in my hands, it's mine. I'll have a place to live no matter what happens in my life, or to the increasingly disastrous housing market. And what's more, I'll now have the option of seeking out a spot of land that's right for me and my needs, that I could settle my trailer onto and kickstart making those "stupid dreams" a reality. Buying land will be so much cheaper than buying a house too! And once that's done, I'll have finally achieved independence! The land would be mine to do with as I please; like providing people with shelter and sanctuary, or hosting pagan gatherings and worship ceremonies. I'd have just enough space for everything I need, and I could always customize my trailer if I want more space. My environmental impact would be so much smaller in that trailer than in a conventional house. I might even be able to retire way sooner than expected! All because I chose to follow a simple, stupid dream, despite what everyone else was telling me.
Looking ahead, I'm seeing that the one thing which'll make me happy is a departure from the trappings of our present time which might look pretty and prestigious on the surface, but which ultimately serve only to line the obscenely wealthy pockets of the 1%. I want a life of simple comforts, where the most stressful thing I'll need to worry about is staying warm and cozy throughout wintertime. I wanna be able to feed my passions without stressing out over debts, or working myself to death for the rich. I want a happy life built by my own two hands, by my own power, where my top priority is feeding my mind, body, and spirit. Living out of that trailer will allow me to do just that. No debts, hardly any bills to pay, and safely sheltered away from the looming crises that will (hopefully) precede the ultimate downfall of late-stage American capitalism. I'll get to enjoy the local wildlife, watch entire generations of animals come and go as the seasons change. I'll be free to pursue writing, and fashion, and whatever else I please. I'll get to save up so much money, to be spent on whatever I please.
It's amazing to me how easy it is to lose focus of what's right in front of you, when you're too busy trying to look at the shiny things behind it. But what's not to love about a transgender lesbian witch living her best life in a cute little travel trailer, calling her own shots and choosing to chuck deuces to our bass-ackwards society? I don't know about you, but I'd wanna know more about that person! So I've decided that I'm gonna be that person myself, and dare the world to do something about it. That's the life I see for myself, looking ahead.
~R.B.
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